When You Say Nothing At All..

I wanted to email her but I didn’t.I tried typing few times but there wasn’t any words that I could start with.I didn’t know what else could I say.Today is da weirdest day of my life where I felt emotionless,directionless and expressionless.I didn’t smile through the whole day.I wasn’t in da mood to talk.All I wanted to do was going back home and sleep.My first time where I wanted to go back home so much.

Da whole morning,I felt as though I worked as a construction labour,feeling so tired.Wondering what have I done for da past one month?Da answer is wandering around and doing nothing.A lot of questions and debating sessions could get stuck in my head and I'm controlling myself not to think cos as what some of them say, no point thinking or asking so much when she doesn’t have any feelings.I doesn’t know why my instinct tells me that she's afraid of something(I doesn’t know what is it).She's thinking about it & she don't know how to confront/approach it.

Even I,myself now doesn’t know what to do about myself.For da past one month, she might be thinking I'm enjoying my time with friends, going out everyday till night only get back home. She may not realise that I have been doing that cos I'm afraid to think too much?Trying to push my fears away?Pulling up my confidence level?Finding da "lost" me?I miss you so much and I'm afraid to find you. When you were next to me, I wanted to ask you yet I'm afraid of upsetting you till da day I felt your touch again,your care & kiss, I though things were gonna get better and doesn’t know why everything suddenly got down again.I know I need to talk to you, I know I wanna see you but I'm so scare to do so.

Thanks to friends who has always been here with me.I doesn’t know where am I heading to right now.Just let me drown myself alone cos I know it aint easy to forget this love for her. I would avoid seeing everybody & I'm deciding to leave this place.Please don’t say it's not worth it or I'm silly.If you were me, you will know how does this feels.

I sincerely do hope & wish for da best for me & her.I'll still remain my love & trust in her.Hopefully everyone don’t get her wrong.It's not her fault nor her mistake.Maybe things just don’t work out da way we want to. Don't blame her for anything okie?I know she's a great friend to be with & a good listener to share your problems.Just sit quietly next to her & you'll realise how perfect she is =) & that's how she captivate my heart,being in da center of my attention.

Wishing her best of luck in her coming results & her PTPTN loan application & may happie days follow her everywhere.If one day, you feel you're alone,being next to you is where I belong.Let's cheerup =) to welcome da happie go lucky days to come!!!!!Shoo shoo all da bad things away…shooo shoo all da sad sad away…shoo shoo all da worries/stress/tension/pressure away…ShOOooooo ShoOOoOooo...

How I wish you were brave enough to tell me that you do love me..