Be Myself ^_^
After much consideration about missing in action, I'm reallie laughing at myself for having such a silly thinking of like disappearing myself from her life.Is there a need to do so?What do I get?Why do I need to avoid da problems and her?I'm glad that my rationality came back, emotions was taking me over about this. I realise was kinda stupid with da previous two posts I made here especially about knowing that da bitch was at her place.Seriously our relationship is undefined so I guess I dont have da right to jealous about anything right?And who am I?Why should she tell me da bitch was there or not right?Anyway why I care so much about da bitch?Reason would be cos I'm still putting hopes in da relationship,praying and hoping for da best and yet doesnt know where I stand.That's why I take in account of everything she does and people around her as well.
My poor chimui a.k.a sis,had a pretty bad day as well where she went up to her gf's apartment,she couldnt find her gf in her room.Guess where was she?She was actually sleeping on da next room which is her ex's room.To my chimui's surprise about that,she knows nothing happened between them yet da word jealousy do play around.She packed everything and left da keys and da ring back to her dear.Frankly,no one could accept this situation and sometimes I doesnt understand about gfs with exs.Arent you suppose to know where's da limit to be close as a fren and draw da line to let your ex knows that you're treating her as a fren?
It's da same as for my dear as well.Many times I was upset and we got into mini argument because of da bitch and now I realise I shouldnt blame everything on da bitch.She love my dear and hoping to patch up, which is not wrong to do so but please rem she has a girlfriend and it's ME!!As for my dear, come on you should know she does love you but da way u're treating her it's like kinda intimating?Could you accept me sleeping with my ex or another guy/gal next to me on da same room same bed?Could you accept me running away with someone else when I saw you?Could you accept if my ex always hanging around me when you know he/she love me?It's always easy to speak as a third person that you gonna believe in your gf,dun care about da bladdy bitch.Yet when you're in da situation, you'll understand how bad does it feels when you see ur gf doesnt mind being loved by her ex and even at times you feel that she prioritize her ex before you.It hurts.
I have been trying to compromise about this ex-thingy and I guess it's time for me to shout out everything about it.I done nothing wrong about da ex.If my dear wants me back, she need to do something for me den which is draw a line between you and her ex.Let da bitch know that you're with me and you doesnt want her to spoilt our lives.If you cant do it, you still want to selfishly enjoying da love and care from her.I'll leave cos I doesnt want another third party to ruin my relationship over and over again.I doesnt wanna get myself crazy thinking about da bitch.I trust you yet da one I doesnt trust da most is her & myself.Jealousy will break us and hurt me as well.I cant take it anymore.
Right now I doesnt know where I stand in her heart,I doesnt know am I her girlfriend or just a friend.Status undefined.Probably you'll be asking how long are we gonna drag on this situation?Answer I doesnt know.I feel that once she's settled with her enrollment to da new college,hopefully da time has come for us to review on what we want.If we wanna continue den how?If she wanna give up den how?I'm prepared now for everything,for da best and for da worst.To my friend surprise when she know that I could still cry for my dear today, she thought after all this, I should feel numb about it. I told my dear before that when you truly love someone, you'll cry for da hurt and sadness that happens and if da day da tears stop falling,da heart has stop beating for da person whom u loved.
Life goes on no matter what happens,I'm reallie weak in my heart no matter how strong & tough I tried to be.So it's true I'm a sentimental person which I doesnt know it's good or bad!!I still care about her though.
Down with fever yesterday and this morning woke up with body ache here n there,still having slight headache and fever..how nice would be if there's a nice warmie huggie and kissie on da forehead?*piaks!*Stop dreaming..
My poor chimui a.k.a sis,had a pretty bad day as well where she went up to her gf's apartment,she couldnt find her gf in her room.Guess where was she?She was actually sleeping on da next room which is her ex's room.To my chimui's surprise about that,she knows nothing happened between them yet da word jealousy do play around.She packed everything and left da keys and da ring back to her dear.Frankly,no one could accept this situation and sometimes I doesnt understand about gfs with exs.Arent you suppose to know where's da limit to be close as a fren and draw da line to let your ex knows that you're treating her as a fren?
It's da same as for my dear as well.Many times I was upset and we got into mini argument because of da bitch and now I realise I shouldnt blame everything on da bitch.She love my dear and hoping to patch up, which is not wrong to do so but please rem she has a girlfriend and it's ME!!As for my dear, come on you should know she does love you but da way u're treating her it's like kinda intimating?Could you accept me sleeping with my ex or another guy/gal next to me on da same room same bed?Could you accept me running away with someone else when I saw you?Could you accept if my ex always hanging around me when you know he/she love me?It's always easy to speak as a third person that you gonna believe in your gf,dun care about da bladdy bitch.Yet when you're in da situation, you'll understand how bad does it feels when you see ur gf doesnt mind being loved by her ex and even at times you feel that she prioritize her ex before you.It hurts.
I have been trying to compromise about this ex-thingy and I guess it's time for me to shout out everything about it.I done nothing wrong about da ex.If my dear wants me back, she need to do something for me den which is draw a line between you and her ex.Let da bitch know that you're with me and you doesnt want her to spoilt our lives.If you cant do it, you still want to selfishly enjoying da love and care from her.I'll leave cos I doesnt want another third party to ruin my relationship over and over again.I doesnt wanna get myself crazy thinking about da bitch.I trust you yet da one I doesnt trust da most is her & myself.Jealousy will break us and hurt me as well.I cant take it anymore.
Right now I doesnt know where I stand in her heart,I doesnt know am I her girlfriend or just a friend.Status undefined.Probably you'll be asking how long are we gonna drag on this situation?Answer I doesnt know.I feel that once she's settled with her enrollment to da new college,hopefully da time has come for us to review on what we want.If we wanna continue den how?If she wanna give up den how?I'm prepared now for everything,for da best and for da worst.To my friend surprise when she know that I could still cry for my dear today, she thought after all this, I should feel numb about it. I told my dear before that when you truly love someone, you'll cry for da hurt and sadness that happens and if da day da tears stop falling,da heart has stop beating for da person whom u loved.
Life goes on no matter what happens,I'm reallie weak in my heart no matter how strong & tough I tried to be.So it's true I'm a sentimental person which I doesnt know it's good or bad!!I still care about her though.
Down with fever yesterday and this morning woke up with body ache here n there,still having slight headache and fever..how nice would be if there's a nice warmie huggie and kissie on da forehead?*piaks!*Stop dreaming..
posted by Sam @ 11:22 AM
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