Hatred Gone
Yesterday I had a bad start day, I was gonna be late for my work and once I got myself into my dad's car, guessed what happened?Da car broke down cos da car battery was down and luckily my sis was still in my house preparing for work so she gave me a ride.While waiting for my company bus to pick da whole bunch of people up(including me), here comes a guy approaching me talking to me with friendly conversation and we end up sitting together in da bus,talking all da way till to da office. We had normal conversations like where're you from?which department?how's work and so on?And da most interesting question he asked me was(which is da last question he bump to me) "Sam,so do you believe in love?". I was amused and emotional crack when I heard that question. I grined and answered "Well,I do believe in love and em lately I doesn’t know whether do I still believe in love,things happened and it make me change some how." I have been wondering da whole day from yesterday till today about where,how and why would I bump into this guy?Was this a test from God?
After work, I took da company bus back to KL Sentral and was looking around for gummies for my cutie niece.While packing da gummies, I bought another bag of candies for myself and da specialty about it is those candies are all in different flavour. With a sudden thought I felt, my life could be just da same as da candies, some may taste good and some taste bad yet it will taste sweet in da end.Okie it's not another Forest Gump phrase about "Life is just like a box of chocolate, you'll never know what does it taste like".
My mind was wondering around cos I knew I was gonna see her in da night, I didn’t know how I was gonna confront her. There were mixture of feelings of hurt,pain,sadness,anger,hatred,love,confused,doubts,suspicious and a lot more to describe.When I first got into da car, I felt both of us feel da uncomfortableness or rather we didn’t know what to say to each other.We were quiet in da car till we got down and sat together with our friends with a little warm up on our conversation den soon naturally we talked.She drove me back and we continued talking in her car.Upon reaching home, we continued messaging each other with funny jokes cracking on each other.Frankly, I did felt a miss for her cos this is actually how we started to become couple(if she remembered).Some refreshment of memories sparkled in my mind and *ouch*my heart felt it.
I was too sleepy to read her last message and this morning when I read her message, I didn’t know how to reply her and I follow my heart.I told her how I feel right now and what's missing in me. For those who have been reading this, you know da answer..it's my heart.I'm still searching for my heartless soul who's pondering around somewhere with da hurt and pain.I'm amazed with myself that I stop hating you,some may say I'm a forgiver but actually I'm not.I know I couldn’t neither forget nor forgive what she have done to me and da reason I stop hating you is da more I hate you da more I'm reminding myself how much I love you.Hating someone I love is reallie da most difficult thing I could do and I just couldn’t do it.
Since da "day", I never smile like da way I did, I couldn’t find da reason for smiling happily,when will my heart and my smile be back?Let's wait.
After work, I took da company bus back to KL Sentral and was looking around for gummies for my cutie niece.While packing da gummies, I bought another bag of candies for myself and da specialty about it is those candies are all in different flavour. With a sudden thought I felt, my life could be just da same as da candies, some may taste good and some taste bad yet it will taste sweet in da end.Okie it's not another Forest Gump phrase about "Life is just like a box of chocolate, you'll never know what does it taste like".
My mind was wondering around cos I knew I was gonna see her in da night, I didn’t know how I was gonna confront her. There were mixture of feelings of hurt,pain,sadness,anger,hatred,love,confused,doubts,suspicious and a lot more to describe.When I first got into da car, I felt both of us feel da uncomfortableness or rather we didn’t know what to say to each other.We were quiet in da car till we got down and sat together with our friends with a little warm up on our conversation den soon naturally we talked.She drove me back and we continued talking in her car.Upon reaching home, we continued messaging each other with funny jokes cracking on each other.Frankly, I did felt a miss for her cos this is actually how we started to become couple(if she remembered).Some refreshment of memories sparkled in my mind and *ouch*my heart felt it.
I was too sleepy to read her last message and this morning when I read her message, I didn’t know how to reply her and I follow my heart.I told her how I feel right now and what's missing in me. For those who have been reading this, you know da answer..it's my heart.I'm still searching for my heartless soul who's pondering around somewhere with da hurt and pain.I'm amazed with myself that I stop hating you,some may say I'm a forgiver but actually I'm not.I know I couldn’t neither forget nor forgive what she have done to me and da reason I stop hating you is da more I hate you da more I'm reminding myself how much I love you.Hating someone I love is reallie da most difficult thing I could do and I just couldn’t do it.
Since da "day", I never smile like da way I did, I couldn’t find da reason for smiling happily,when will my heart and my smile be back?Let's wait.
posted by Sam @ 12:01 PM
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