If We Didnt Met..

Yesterday she messaged me and say if I didnt met her,maybe I'll be more happie.Looking at da message,small little tears drop on my face.She didnt now that how much I hope that she would say "Meeting me is da best happiness she ever had".Most of da time been listening to her about how long could I love a person?Is is possible for me to find another one?why am I giving so much?How I wish I have da courage to say my answers to all da questions is you.

Yes you hurt me,you betrayed me and you gave me da most & most painful time of my life.Remember few days ago,I told you there was once I was sick for few days and couldnt turn up to work?And you asked why I didnt tell you?It happened da day after da "incident".On da day when I knew what happened,I went over to my chimui's place to hang out and drink till I felt numb.Your housemate didnt know how to drove me home,I suggested her to drop me somewhere for me to grab a taxi.Drunk and vomittin around on da road,luckily I got taxi & I just slept towards my journey till I reached home.Upon reaching home,my gastric pain was reallie pain till I lie down on da floor.It wasn't da pain of my gastric that make me feel sick,da pain from my heart was drowning me with tears and sadness.I remembered that night very well that I kept asking da question "Why?".I didnt understand why did you do so?Was I bad or did I treated you badly?Was I causing bad times and making lots of frustrations?Da pain & hurt eventually got over my hatred.I didnt know how to hate you.All I knew was I love you & I believe you love me too.I gave my heart & trust to you & I trust you did too.If anything down and upset happen to us,I would wanna try my best to find da solution for us.Avoidance aint gonna help us.Probably da more I wanted to settle,da worst da situation gets.

This is something that you didnt know which happened to me on da day on da nite.Sufferings and pain I gone through reminds me of how much I actually love you.This is also da reason why I didnt hate you and forgive you,simply because I knew that for da past years being through few relationships,different people different background and different character,no one did move my heart and make me realise that how much I could fall in love with someone,how much I wanted to be by ur side day and nite,how much I wanna be urs where I could be ur wifey doing things for you,how much I wanted to make our dreams come true with our car,our house,our doggies and etc,how much I wanted to succeed in my career to have a better home for us,how much I miss you when you're not around,how much I wanted your support when I down,how happie am I when I see you smile,how eager am I to grab all da things you want to see you happie,how I wish I could turn ur grey skies into sunny days,how I wish I'm there with you always and you're da one I truly love.

With all these,you want me to find someone else?you want me to love another person?What's love?I believe in love so much when I'm with you.I felt loving someone is accepting her as who she is without any boundaries.I did.Maybe you felt pressure that I was being too good to you.If yes den I'm sorry.At times what I say and do may doesnt seems right but trust me that my motives are good.For now and later and till da end,I know I love you.I know I need you.Somehow,I doesnt need you to pity me.I want you to love me and to need me as well.

Anyway,love isnt a question for you to ask me anymore as da answers are clearly there.I doesnt seek for answers now as I guess they will come to me eventually.I dont expect anything from you either as I just wan you to concentrate in your studies.Sorrie at times I may sound like a nanny to you for da reason I doesnt want you to get out of control and ruin yourself once more.Aint gonna pamper so much like I did cos it will only spoilts you.

If you found someone whom you love and someone who loves you too,dont be afraid to let me know.Still remember what I expect from you?"I just wanna to see you being happie".Whether I'm da one or not,it doesnt matters,as long from far or near,I know you're happie =)

If we didnt met,I never know what's love & happiness..thanks dear!