Happie New Year 2007
First post of da new year yet it may not sound to be a very good post.Things have changed since da beginning of da year,it's not between me and her.It's between she and da bitch.Some would say it's a good change and others might say this is the most important time to decide how me and her gonna be.
They had arguement,a big one,that involves screamings & yellings here and there,hurting each other feelings,crying,slapping and asking da bitch to move out of da house.How does it sounds to you?Well,for me,it didnt sounds good to me at all,you may wonder why?Isnt this is what I have been waiting and longing for all this while?Perhaps yes,but when it actually happened,da answer is no.I aint happie as I felt more fears in me.What sort of fears am I talking about?My rationality is telling me that she wants me when she has nobody else with her and the thing is I'm always here for her no matter how.Da bitch has been staying together with her side by side for almost 2 years and believe me,staying with someone for that much of time do cause some dependency.Da bitch was her dependency,companion and someone how shower care,love and support to her.Now,all these are missing,how would she feel?lost?lonely?depressing?
Severely questions do run up in my head and this time my brain is talking over to my heart.All this while I do make myself believe that I am someone in her life.Then da next question would be what sort of status are we in now?Answer is a relationship with no commitment.I doesnt wanna talk about commitment anymore,it's just a word to define stupid responsibilities where why do you need commitment when any of da party aint gonna give or have it?So I doesnt emphasize on commitment or love as much as I do last time.I make a mistake & I learned my lesson.After da argument incident they had,it make me realise how influencial is da bitch in her life,make me realise too that I was just a extra person,having a extra role in her life and doing extra things.This is how I feel.
She mentioned that she treated her as friends only so far.My god,how could she make such lies to me and to herself.We both know it's not only friends.Friends wouldnt sleep together,share things together & doing everything single thing together.Friends wouldnt get jealous when you're out with me.Friends wouldnt get mad when she's doesnt care about you anymore.Friends wouldnt yell at each other & felt da hurt at da end.Maybe you didnt realise but unfortunately I did.I wanted to make myself to believe that you were just friends but I guess da best proff was when you took out da ring where you claim that you bought it cos you like it,not because of her.Yet after da incident,you took it out with da reason you finally let go of da past.Da ring was something about you and her and now she has someone else in her heart,so you take it out.Da slap on your face makes your heart dies?In fact,da slap on your face makes you let go.You knew it that from then,she's not da one who loves,cares and someone who prioritize you in her life.You knew things changed,you didnt know how to accept da fact.You realise you're losing someone.
You need another proff?You mentioned that after the main exam,you wanna shift back to Penang.If this incident didnt happened,you'll continue staying here with her and remaining da close relationship with her right?Dear,you're spilling your own beans and I read them well.
This was my fear.She's losing her and she's feeling da pain.Me?What can I do now?It's between them not me.It only make me realise who am I to her.Sam do wake up,it's not as easy as it said.Let her settle whatever she needs and it's time for me to let go this time cos I find no reason to stay when I'm just a nobody to her.
A challenging year I assume,my rationality is speaking nowadays to ask me to wake up and see things clearly.I followed my heart too much causing myself in pain.I wanna believe her but her words and actions are doubting herself.I questioned her and there isn't a need for an answer cos da one she need to answer is she,herself.Happie New Year 2007!
Great and awesome fireworks we saw in Bukit Bintang area,though we didnt plan for this celebration and yet I enjoyed my time with you.No matter how life's gonna be,thanks for showing me what's happiness.She's still kinda sick right now so I pray for her health and studies.
They had arguement,a big one,that involves screamings & yellings here and there,hurting each other feelings,crying,slapping and asking da bitch to move out of da house.How does it sounds to you?Well,for me,it didnt sounds good to me at all,you may wonder why?Isnt this is what I have been waiting and longing for all this while?Perhaps yes,but when it actually happened,da answer is no.I aint happie as I felt more fears in me.What sort of fears am I talking about?My rationality is telling me that she wants me when she has nobody else with her and the thing is I'm always here for her no matter how.Da bitch has been staying together with her side by side for almost 2 years and believe me,staying with someone for that much of time do cause some dependency.Da bitch was her dependency,companion and someone how shower care,love and support to her.Now,all these are missing,how would she feel?lost?lonely?depressing?
Severely questions do run up in my head and this time my brain is talking over to my heart.All this while I do make myself believe that I am someone in her life.Then da next question would be what sort of status are we in now?Answer is a relationship with no commitment.I doesnt wanna talk about commitment anymore,it's just a word to define stupid responsibilities where why do you need commitment when any of da party aint gonna give or have it?So I doesnt emphasize on commitment or love as much as I do last time.I make a mistake & I learned my lesson.After da argument incident they had,it make me realise how influencial is da bitch in her life,make me realise too that I was just a extra person,having a extra role in her life and doing extra things.This is how I feel.
She mentioned that she treated her as friends only so far.My god,how could she make such lies to me and to herself.We both know it's not only friends.Friends wouldnt sleep together,share things together & doing everything single thing together.Friends wouldnt get jealous when you're out with me.Friends wouldnt get mad when she's doesnt care about you anymore.Friends wouldnt yell at each other & felt da hurt at da end.Maybe you didnt realise but unfortunately I did.I wanted to make myself to believe that you were just friends but I guess da best proff was when you took out da ring where you claim that you bought it cos you like it,not because of her.Yet after da incident,you took it out with da reason you finally let go of da past.Da ring was something about you and her and now she has someone else in her heart,so you take it out.Da slap on your face makes your heart dies?In fact,da slap on your face makes you let go.You knew it that from then,she's not da one who loves,cares and someone who prioritize you in her life.You knew things changed,you didnt know how to accept da fact.You realise you're losing someone.
You need another proff?You mentioned that after the main exam,you wanna shift back to Penang.If this incident didnt happened,you'll continue staying here with her and remaining da close relationship with her right?Dear,you're spilling your own beans and I read them well.
This was my fear.She's losing her and she's feeling da pain.Me?What can I do now?It's between them not me.It only make me realise who am I to her.Sam do wake up,it's not as easy as it said.Let her settle whatever she needs and it's time for me to let go this time cos I find no reason to stay when I'm just a nobody to her.
A challenging year I assume,my rationality is speaking nowadays to ask me to wake up and see things clearly.I followed my heart too much causing myself in pain.I wanna believe her but her words and actions are doubting herself.I questioned her and there isn't a need for an answer cos da one she need to answer is she,herself.Happie New Year 2007!
Great and awesome fireworks we saw in Bukit Bintang area,though we didnt plan for this celebration and yet I enjoyed my time with you.No matter how life's gonna be,thanks for showing me what's happiness.She's still kinda sick right now so I pray for her health and studies.
posted by Sam @ 2:01 PM
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