http://samlovejas.blogspot.com
http://samlovejas.blogspot.com, it's suppose to be a blog for both of us,somewhere I could write my thoughts and feelings while hoping she would read this but I know she doesn’t.Too many words for her to read,too many arguments and repeating issues in here.How could she bother to read them right?Anyway,I'll still continue writing as I find this is da best place where I can tell anything I want to without limitations nor boundaries.
It's been few weeks,filling up my time with friends and activities as I wanna make sure I do stay away from her.Yesterday I got her message,saying that she wouldn’t mind if I go and find someone better,mentioning that she shouldn’t be selfish to keep me,emphasizing that she dunno how she feel about us and most importantly she highlighted that there's problem with us,just that I don’t realise.
Finding someone better.My dear,if I want to,it's not hard but da truth is my heart cant do it.Do you know that how many times I felt like a frustrations and a burden to you?I doesn’t like seeing you being worried and bothered about "us".Each time it happens,I told myself to move away from you cos I don’t see myself bringing happiness to you.At da end,I fail to do so.I couldn’t bluff myself and you that I doesn’t love you.Have you consider how do I feel when someone I love ask me to find someone else?Maybe you did but da one who feel da hurt is me.I'm not saying you're wrong.I know you're being good asking me to find someone else better for myself.I know.
You shouldn’t be so selfish keeping me?Actually da fact is,I'm da one who's selfish.I'm da one who doesn’t wanna give up on this relationship.There are many times where you said that we doesn’t match,I doesn’t understand you,I always critize or blame you,I'm controlling you and etc,I know I have my own attitude problem and I cant expect to accept who I am.Acceptance is a great challenge for every person out there and to reallie accept da good/bad of a person do depends on yourself.I do admit that I have faults too cos I do feel that there are times I doesn’t accept who you are and tat's when I started throwing my temper on you.Again dear,I know.I'm da one who doesn’t wanna give up on us.
What's da problem?I doesn’t know.Though I reallie wish to ask so that we can find a solution here but I know if I were to do so,it will worsen da whole situation.She prefers being alone,listening to herself and finding da solution by herself.Where as for me,I hope to discuss.Different style of handling matters.She want da time alone,I'll give.Reason because I know what I want and my decision.Being with you,I never change myself of how I feel for you.From da start to da "incident" to da argument,we gone through many bitter and sweet together and yet I'm still here with you dear.I doesn’t need to say nor prove anything about how I feel cos I know u understand.Eventhough you doesn’t talk a lot about how you feel for me,again I do assume your actions speaks louder.
For me,da problem is our attitude/character.
I didn’t ask for anything but you to love me.I doesn’t need you to give me da best things in da world.All I need is a assurance(mandarin is ken ting)from you about your feelings.I don’t wanna be spare tyre.I don’t wanna be a nobody in you heart.Have you ever wonder how important am I to you?Of cos you can prioritize your friends and family,I don’t mind at all but dun leave me feeling unwanted.I don’t need commitment/24 hours of your time and attention.
Maybe you'll say that again I talk to much and I'm too emphasizing about relationships.What I speak here is from myself,I'm not trying to critize you anything or pushing u to do anything.Oh please,I don’t wanna be pushy at all.My over care and over sensitive may drag me to all this and I'm sorrie.I'm kinda blunt where I understand words better den I see your actions.Sometimes I would need you to talk to me & it will somehow wake me up to listen to you.Understand?
Each time when this situation happens,I'll keep calling you,asking you for explaination,this time is an exceptional.Not because I doesn’t care anymore,it's because I feel it's time for you to decide whether you wanna give up on us or not cos I feel all this while I'm da one standing here,now your time to choose whether you wanna stand here as well or not.Dont avoid this d.
Hey,watever that's bothering you,please oh please spend most of your time in your studies.You're just few months away from your main exam and no point for you to neglect ur studies right?If I'm bothering you,jst let me know k?We are not honey and bee,sticking to each other all da time.I may sound cold to you right now but it's for ur own good.I care but I'm not allowed to so.
If you reallie mean it about going back hometown for a week,I hope u'll come back as a more cheerful you =)
Take good care of urself my dear.If you feel scared being alone,I hope you'll realise & think of me,someone who has always been here with you
It's been few weeks,filling up my time with friends and activities as I wanna make sure I do stay away from her.Yesterday I got her message,saying that she wouldn’t mind if I go and find someone better,mentioning that she shouldn’t be selfish to keep me,emphasizing that she dunno how she feel about us and most importantly she highlighted that there's problem with us,just that I don’t realise.
Finding someone better.My dear,if I want to,it's not hard but da truth is my heart cant do it.Do you know that how many times I felt like a frustrations and a burden to you?I doesn’t like seeing you being worried and bothered about "us".Each time it happens,I told myself to move away from you cos I don’t see myself bringing happiness to you.At da end,I fail to do so.I couldn’t bluff myself and you that I doesn’t love you.Have you consider how do I feel when someone I love ask me to find someone else?Maybe you did but da one who feel da hurt is me.I'm not saying you're wrong.I know you're being good asking me to find someone else better for myself.I know.
You shouldn’t be so selfish keeping me?Actually da fact is,I'm da one who's selfish.I'm da one who doesn’t wanna give up on this relationship.There are many times where you said that we doesn’t match,I doesn’t understand you,I always critize or blame you,I'm controlling you and etc,I know I have my own attitude problem and I cant expect to accept who I am.Acceptance is a great challenge for every person out there and to reallie accept da good/bad of a person do depends on yourself.I do admit that I have faults too cos I do feel that there are times I doesn’t accept who you are and tat's when I started throwing my temper on you.Again dear,I know.I'm da one who doesn’t wanna give up on us.
What's da problem?I doesn’t know.Though I reallie wish to ask so that we can find a solution here but I know if I were to do so,it will worsen da whole situation.She prefers being alone,listening to herself and finding da solution by herself.Where as for me,I hope to discuss.Different style of handling matters.She want da time alone,I'll give.Reason because I know what I want and my decision.Being with you,I never change myself of how I feel for you.From da start to da "incident" to da argument,we gone through many bitter and sweet together and yet I'm still here with you dear.I doesn’t need to say nor prove anything about how I feel cos I know u understand.Eventhough you doesn’t talk a lot about how you feel for me,again I do assume your actions speaks louder.
For me,da problem is our attitude/character.
I didn’t ask for anything but you to love me.I doesn’t need you to give me da best things in da world.All I need is a assurance(mandarin is ken ting)from you about your feelings.I don’t wanna be spare tyre.I don’t wanna be a nobody in you heart.Have you ever wonder how important am I to you?Of cos you can prioritize your friends and family,I don’t mind at all but dun leave me feeling unwanted.I don’t need commitment/24 hours of your time and attention.
Maybe you'll say that again I talk to much and I'm too emphasizing about relationships.What I speak here is from myself,I'm not trying to critize you anything or pushing u to do anything.Oh please,I don’t wanna be pushy at all.My over care and over sensitive may drag me to all this and I'm sorrie.I'm kinda blunt where I understand words better den I see your actions.Sometimes I would need you to talk to me & it will somehow wake me up to listen to you.Understand?
Each time when this situation happens,I'll keep calling you,asking you for explaination,this time is an exceptional.Not because I doesn’t care anymore,it's because I feel it's time for you to decide whether you wanna give up on us or not cos I feel all this while I'm da one standing here,now your time to choose whether you wanna stand here as well or not.Dont avoid this d.
Hey,watever that's bothering you,please oh please spend most of your time in your studies.You're just few months away from your main exam and no point for you to neglect ur studies right?If I'm bothering you,jst let me know k?We are not honey and bee,sticking to each other all da time.I may sound cold to you right now but it's for ur own good.I care but I'm not allowed to so.
If you reallie mean it about going back hometown for a week,I hope u'll come back as a more cheerful you =)
Take good care of urself my dear.If you feel scared being alone,I hope you'll realise & think of me,someone who has always been here with you
posted by Sam @ 12:14 PM
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