Unneccessary Troubles & Worries
Aloha bloggie,as usual this morning I woke up,bathed,ate my breakfast with my cup of coffee and preparing myself to work.I was exhausted and restless because of da yesterday gastric pain,few hours of pain reallie troubled me.Upon reaching the train station to wait for my company bus,unfortunately,da last bus have left,was considering whether to go back and rest or just continue to work.My first decision was to continue to work but when I felt my tummy feeling more and more discomfort,I decided to go back.
Surprisingly,at da moment,my dear called me.Yeah,finally she called me,I guess she felt asleep yesterday soon after my second call to her and she didnt managed to pick up my calls after that due to her exhaustion as well(her headache).Hope she's feeling better right now.On da way back to home,I gave her a call and I commented that I wanted to go over her place to rest,da first time I said,there was no reply,second time I said,she say up to you in a reluctant way then next,she texted me saying that she couldnt study when I'm around and we couldnt be meeting up everyday,she need time for her study and hope that I really do understand.Emotionally sad but logically I knew I had to be more rational about this.My brains says that what she say is true,my heart says I just need a bit of her time.I hate myself for being this contradicting,can someone just stab me in my heart?*haha*
Sometimes I dont get it you know?She would say that I'm taking much of her time and practically,these few weeks,we only meet up for meals or meet up while she pick me & driving me back home?I guess it's not these that I'm consuming her time but da attention & care that I want which is troubling her.She did mentioned that she felt pressured from me.What sort of pressure?Undescribeable I guess.In my point of view,she's pressured cos she felt controlled and possesive?I heard from her that whenever she goes somewhere,she's worried that I may not like it.Undeniable I do and things started as it's getting nearer to her exams.Indirectly I was more worried then her.Many times,she tells me,how tension and stress she felt,time wasnt enough and she was rather slow in her revision.
To cope with it,that's how we cut down our meet ups and outings,da most is only few hours of seeing each other.Whenever she tells me she's out with her gang of friends,I knew that it's not gonna be a few hours thingy but a whole day outing.Yes,I do complained about this before that why there's a time and limitation difference between me and her friends but with da second thought,I shouldnt be selfishly comparing.It's not like she's neglecting me or pushing me aside right?But da main point isnt this dear,I respect your time with your friends and I aint like last time where I want 100% of your time.I'm rather more worried that you,if you get what I mean.Anyway,I shouldnt be over worrying about this and let you handle it yourself.Why should I create unneccessary troubles and pressures?Stupidly me,alright Sam has make up her mind to stop being a freak fella worrying about this and that,just let everything flow by it's way*thumbs up*Not everything is in my control.
These two days,we are just like da weather,sometimes sunny,sometimes rainy and luckily da rain do stops when da time comes.I got to admit I aint good with da weather forecast and da weather changing.I'm bad with it and I tends to get more emotional den ever before.However,my consciousness will comes later after that*phew*I guess I need to stay few feets away from her now,stop making calls and texting her too often,talk lesser and hear more,people just pray luck for me to do this.
It aint who's fault or who to blame,is for us to be understandable.Two hands to make a clap.
Continuing about my gastric,I just got back from da clinic,doctor confirmed it's gastric and saying I got a windy tummy.No heavy meals,no hot and spicy,no tea nor coffee,no fruits and no vegetables.Em,da first time I'm hearing about no vegetables for gastric.Any idea about it?
Tomorrow night I'll be flying over to Beijing and it's a good thing for me and her,sometime to cool down ourselves over da issue lately.Wishing myself a good trip to enjoy though it's a 5 days 3 nights(means 2 days on da plane!!*fainting*)and hope my dear's 'weather' will be much sunnier and clearer blue clouds & skies above ya.
p/s:take care dear,though sometimes I very ngam cham,ma fan,lor sor and lui yan but I reallie love you de & wishing you love me too =P
Surprisingly,at da moment,my dear called me.Yeah,finally she called me,I guess she felt asleep yesterday soon after my second call to her and she didnt managed to pick up my calls after that due to her exhaustion as well(her headache).Hope she's feeling better right now.On da way back to home,I gave her a call and I commented that I wanted to go over her place to rest,da first time I said,there was no reply,second time I said,she say up to you in a reluctant way then next,she texted me saying that she couldnt study when I'm around and we couldnt be meeting up everyday,she need time for her study and hope that I really do understand.Emotionally sad but logically I knew I had to be more rational about this.My brains says that what she say is true,my heart says I just need a bit of her time.I hate myself for being this contradicting,can someone just stab me in my heart?*haha*
Sometimes I dont get it you know?She would say that I'm taking much of her time and practically,these few weeks,we only meet up for meals or meet up while she pick me & driving me back home?I guess it's not these that I'm consuming her time but da attention & care that I want which is troubling her.She did mentioned that she felt pressured from me.What sort of pressure?Undescribeable I guess.In my point of view,she's pressured cos she felt controlled and possesive?I heard from her that whenever she goes somewhere,she's worried that I may not like it.Undeniable I do and things started as it's getting nearer to her exams.Indirectly I was more worried then her.Many times,she tells me,how tension and stress she felt,time wasnt enough and she was rather slow in her revision.
To cope with it,that's how we cut down our meet ups and outings,da most is only few hours of seeing each other.Whenever she tells me she's out with her gang of friends,I knew that it's not gonna be a few hours thingy but a whole day outing.Yes,I do complained about this before that why there's a time and limitation difference between me and her friends but with da second thought,I shouldnt be selfishly comparing.It's not like she's neglecting me or pushing me aside right?But da main point isnt this dear,I respect your time with your friends and I aint like last time where I want 100% of your time.I'm rather more worried that you,if you get what I mean.Anyway,I shouldnt be over worrying about this and let you handle it yourself.Why should I create unneccessary troubles and pressures?Stupidly me,alright Sam has make up her mind to stop being a freak fella worrying about this and that,just let everything flow by it's way*thumbs up*Not everything is in my control.
These two days,we are just like da weather,sometimes sunny,sometimes rainy and luckily da rain do stops when da time comes.I got to admit I aint good with da weather forecast and da weather changing.I'm bad with it and I tends to get more emotional den ever before.However,my consciousness will comes later after that*phew*I guess I need to stay few feets away from her now,stop making calls and texting her too often,talk lesser and hear more,people just pray luck for me to do this.
It aint who's fault or who to blame,is for us to be understandable.Two hands to make a clap.
Continuing about my gastric,I just got back from da clinic,doctor confirmed it's gastric and saying I got a windy tummy.No heavy meals,no hot and spicy,no tea nor coffee,no fruits and no vegetables.Em,da first time I'm hearing about no vegetables for gastric.Any idea about it?
Tomorrow night I'll be flying over to Beijing and it's a good thing for me and her,sometime to cool down ourselves over da issue lately.Wishing myself a good trip to enjoy though it's a 5 days 3 nights(means 2 days on da plane!!*fainting*)and hope my dear's 'weather' will be much sunnier and clearer blue clouds & skies above ya.
p/s:take care dear,though sometimes I very ngam cham,ma fan,lor sor and lui yan but I reallie love you de & wishing you love me too =P
posted by Sam @ 1:35 PM
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