It's Hard To Be Me
Tomorrow is da day where I'm gonna meet my country manager to discuss about my contract renewal.At this very crucial moment,my dear said she felt that she's not needed.I guess she saw da messages I wrote to my friends about my fears and worries and she thought that I'm hiding all this from her.
What is da truth?
I didnt know how to tell her that I didnt want her to be worry about my job,I didnt wanna see her to see me as a loser if I were to lose my job,I didnt wanna disappoint her and can you see all I'm worried is her?
I cried seeing da message,da way she text me isnt what I need at this moment.I'm scared and stressed,I needed support and encourgament from her instead of her thinking that I doesnt need her.Dear,how to you want me to tell you all this?I doesnt wanna see u worried,is it wrong?I dont wanna you to have da perception that you sounded like a burden to me.
Many times you said that I'm a very feminine and weak person & from each time you say,I'll remember by telling myself to be strong and tough no matter how's da situation like.Deep inside me,many tears I have wiped and I didnt tell you as you were having your exam,I myself dont wanna burden you too.I understand how you feel,I know how is it like that why your partner goes telling everything to others instead of you but do you know how much I told them?
As I ever mentioned is I'm worried my contract couldnt be renewed,my discussion with my boss is coming and I'm freaking tension,didnt I tell you all this as well?Is just da way I deliver da message to you is different.I wanted to hug you and cried,I reallie want but I'm scared you'll say I'm feminine and weak so I would try my best to show you da tough and best part of me.I dont wanna look like a kid and acting immature in front of you but da actual fact dear,I'm worried that I fail you.I dont wanna spoilt da hopes you put in me.
Seeing you worried,I feel unhappie but I know that shows you care and what I needed now is your support and encouragement,not you thinking that I dont need you,can you see this?
I reallie hope I get this message correctly to you,I aint selfish and I aint putting you aside,is just I love you so much,I cant bear to see you worried over me.
What is da truth?
I didnt know how to tell her that I didnt want her to be worry about my job,I didnt wanna see her to see me as a loser if I were to lose my job,I didnt wanna disappoint her and can you see all I'm worried is her?
I cried seeing da message,da way she text me isnt what I need at this moment.I'm scared and stressed,I needed support and encourgament from her instead of her thinking that I doesnt need her.Dear,how to you want me to tell you all this?I doesnt wanna see u worried,is it wrong?I dont wanna you to have da perception that you sounded like a burden to me.
Many times you said that I'm a very feminine and weak person & from each time you say,I'll remember by telling myself to be strong and tough no matter how's da situation like.Deep inside me,many tears I have wiped and I didnt tell you as you were having your exam,I myself dont wanna burden you too.I understand how you feel,I know how is it like that why your partner goes telling everything to others instead of you but do you know how much I told them?
As I ever mentioned is I'm worried my contract couldnt be renewed,my discussion with my boss is coming and I'm freaking tension,didnt I tell you all this as well?Is just da way I deliver da message to you is different.I wanted to hug you and cried,I reallie want but I'm scared you'll say I'm feminine and weak so I would try my best to show you da tough and best part of me.I dont wanna look like a kid and acting immature in front of you but da actual fact dear,I'm worried that I fail you.I dont wanna spoilt da hopes you put in me.
Seeing you worried,I feel unhappie but I know that shows you care and what I needed now is your support and encouragement,not you thinking that I dont need you,can you see this?
I reallie hope I get this message correctly to you,I aint selfish and I aint putting you aside,is just I love you so much,I cant bear to see you worried over me.
posted by Sam @ 10:30 PM
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