First Birthday Mission

Bloggie!!!Happie me that my first mission has accomplished!Well cant tell what is it here now!Shall update later!=P

Love you!

Whatever~

When I just want things to be perfectly done for your birthday,all you said was "Why making it so complicated?Just do whatever".Then I realise I may have overlooked this birthday celebration thingy too much.Months before today,I thought of bringing you to a French restaurant,somewhere that both of us has never tried before.I read and see reviews about it & it looks exceptionally classy.A quiet little celebration but *boom*plan A change to plan B,steamboat celebration with her friends.Well,I'm okie with it,a two person celebration can be kinda boring sometimes,so now set off for preparing da day.

Was kinda messed off about few things such as da pot(to buy or not to buy?),ingredients(enuff to eat,where & when to buy?),presents(what to buy?)and I must say thanks to Alex in advance for your place & help,I know I gonna trouble you a lot with da preparation and sorry that we need to use your place.So on da count,there's total of 12 person coming and da pot,no need to buy,da ingredients you & Alex gonna get it(no need worry d),present(buying it today,dont wanna bother so much whether she gonna like it d).Let's party everyone..

Lulu Dear >_<

Thought of cooking a nice dinner on Wednesday night as of welcoming her birthday but da lulu says "I aint in da mood cos of my exam".Thinking of what to buy for her birthday.Is it gonna be option A or B?May not be what she reallie wants though but does da thought that counts?

This Saturday,back to my first driving lessons!I'm already feeling da nervousness in my nerves.Why am I so afraid of driving?And I must pass to get my license so that my dream to get a car next year is a dream come true!

Discussion of da day is how similiar is your taste/preference with your partner?Asked a few couples around me and surprisingly da answer is none and they end up one always making da decision & de other keeping quiet to herself.Pretty funny cos I always thought that there must something in common like interest,sense of fashion and etc between couples that's keeping them together but da result of da day seems to be de other way round.So is this good or bad?

Halleluyah criminal paper sucks and it's over my dear so let's forget it & hope for a better day tomorrow!Lucky lucky coming~huggies.

Flashback

Last friday,I was sitting in da train going towards KL city for my training and then I was staring at the route map,counting how many stops more to go & suddenly there was a flash back when I see da Titiwangsa station.I remembered myself rushing to da train station,anxiously waiting from one station to de other & running towards da hospital and finally standing in front of her who was weakless on da bed.I still remember da feeling of heart stop at that moment.It mayb da scariest time that I had,da fear of losing someone I love.I took a deep breath during da flash back and I knew how deeply I love this girl.

She may not be someone who is spectacular who can amaze me with magics but she definitely have some magic on me that just gotten my heart.I doesnt expect her to give me luxury or loads of money(well,I dont mind*haha*)but what I wanted da most from her is love and trust.After all da ups and dows,I truly appreciate with all I have now.Without her right now,I wouldnt know how my life would be(feel like throwing up?lol)

Reallie do look forward for coming days to come but when friends ask me whether do I think she gonna be with me forever?I'll say no cos she's still young,still studying and still lots of spices in life.

What I reallie wanna look forward now is she get to pass her exams,procceeding from one to another level,graduating her degree and probably get herself into CLP.

Hey cant upload youtube videos in here,maybe a good suggestion to blogger is enable uploading embedded codes here..well here's a song(video)that would like to dedicate to you dear,dont be afraid =) love you and all da best for tommorrow,we know you gonna make it,think ahead!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJXeh0uvA7g&NR=1

Jealousy Sam

I guess da more you love someone,da harder it is to let her know what's reallie in your mind.You agree?

It's easy to say "be honest to your partners about what you think and feel" but most of da times,to lesser down or trying not to start up any heated arguement,I would some how keep da truth in me.

A good example would be on our big day,anniversary should be started with cuddles and kisses but our started with a heated one.It was because I didnt like her ex treating her and obviously I didnt like her mixing around so much with her either & with a little tease,da earlie loving branch got screwed up.She always wanted me to understand and trust her that there's nothing between them(not that I dont)but who shall understand me?I just feel I'm repeating what I said in da previous blog.

And oh yeah,her 'fren' black face at her cos she feels that my dear always buy things for me?I mean "hello?" who is she to have da right to do so?Is it wrong for my girlfriend to buy something for her girlfriend who is me?Then probably I should black face at my dear whenever she buy something for her?Sigh how I wish my dear could feel what I'm feeling inside.I feel so sour in me that I'm acting this possesive but at da same time I need to find my consciousness = /

My jealousy is eating up me,I know there's nothing between both of you and I'm trying my best to control whatever jealousy that I'm having.I dont want to restrain anything but I'm just afraid to lose da perfect one that I have now.Cross finger,God I need rationality,I need my brains back to work before my heart*stay calm*

Take care dear,you can do it if you believe!

Happie 2nd Year Anniversary

Bloggie,one year ago we couldnt celebrate this day together because of some circumstances and when we were back together,I set a handphone reminder of this day as I was reallie looking for this day to come.This year anniversary meant a lot for me,I waited from beginning of da year till now but when da day comes,it was just like any other days.I was a little upset.I thought this would a more special day and we would have some mini celebration?Well I got to be considerate to understand that she's kinda busy with her revision since her exams is around da corner so I guess we couldnt celebrate much either,feel glad that we could spend this day together =)

On last Saturday,a day before our anniversary,dear surprised me with a CK Jeans belt(which I was desperate to get a new belt*kaka*)as my earlie birthday gift and after trying here and there,she liked da belt too so I insisted about going to da Curve for dinner and eventually to get da belt and so da earlier birthday gift became as our anniversary gift*lol*Though my actual plan was to get da Tiff & Co rings on da next day*save up!*Thanks for da belt dear =P love it!

Selamat Hari Raya

*At Neway Celebrating Albert's Birthday*

So sad that it's da last day of da Raya holidays and tomorrow gonna wake up reluctantly,pushing myself to da car to work.Anyway it's gonna be quarter closing this month so buck up da best to earn more tis round else I doesnt know what's da changes of da next half gonna be for my career,let's pray for a better one!

On da first day of Raya,my family and I celebrated my nephew a.k.a Scissors first birthday together with our relatives in Restaurant Oriental in Petaling Jaya.At first I wasnt too fancy about Chinese buffet but indeed their service and food was up to da par.They have beijing duck,suckling pig,shark fin's soup,fried dumpling,salmon,prawns and etc.Sounds good uh?Overall da rating of B I would give to da restaurant.Those who had never tried a pure Chinese buffet,should go =) A great family gathering and I guess da next to have this would be my cousin's wedding.

And as usual,cousins around me are either planning to get marry or they're attached & most of them will be wandering about mine.They see presents & flowers but they dont see my partner,mysterious =P

However,that aint my concern right now.Sometimes I wish to tell my girfriend that I'm jealous and I dont like her being so close to her ex but rationally who I am to have such right to do so?Then I decided to swallow watever I feel and da thing is da watever aint digesting in me,is just gonna be kept in my tummy and making butterflies in it & end up I feeling aint good about it.

I just feel that my girlfriend treat da gal better then any of her friends.This is a fact,nothing to be deny and sometimes I feel better then me.She get a Coach for her birthday,me?She buys tea for her family,me?My girlfriend doesnt like me chatting and messaging my buddy but she?And both of them can get pissed off of each other's girlfriend,normal or abnormal friendship?

It aint easy for me to go up to my girlfriend n say "hey,i dont like this and i dont like that",doesnt that sounds controlling?Though yeah I may have some rights to do so but I always wanted her to "know" rather for me to control.Get it?

And yeah I read her blog everyday,is that a problem?Two years back,from her blog I knew about da hanky panky between you and her behind my back,I kept quiet for months & hope you'll come back to me naturally till I found da vibrator.I knew da lies and I stopped lying to myself either.You thought that I was so silly to notice anything?Her blog tells me all.I didnt know why God gave me da talent to be an observer & a sensitive person.It's not reallie about trust but more on security.

De other day she asked me "Security comes from one or both parties?".For me,obviously both,good example is me.I do trust your words and actions but for da past nightmare,it does still scares me a little till now.For god sake,dont say that "If you still hang on to da past den there's no point being together".I believe you know this more then me.You gone through his before me and you should understand that putting your trust into someone who has overused it is not easy.Anyhow,I doesnt doubt your feelings towards me at all but naturally da sense of security aint strong enough to overcome that fear.You know it's pretty simple to be forgiven then to be forgotten.

I trust that there's only friendship between you and her but why such reaction*gasp*when you see me reading her blog?What's da problem?And you wanted to know why do I need to read?What's my motive?I read it for da sake of my own security!I'm still afraid,deep down in me there's a graveyard where I buried da past there.

Dont always think that I have actus reus or mens rea(your law terms) for my actions okie?

I miss those heart to heart talk sessions we have last time,where I could just lay my head on your heart,listening to you and you listening to me.Honesty times.

I know that your referral paper is coming up pretty much soon & no matter da finale gonna be good or bad,remember we have options and solutions,not dead ends.We just gonna do our best & I'm just here.Good luck!

p/s 1:This evening,I threw your book on da bed cos I was doing da room cleaning and you were just outside holding on your book but *hihihaha* with her?What do you think?And your midnight messages,not her?who else?It's clearly written in her blog,I'll give you moral support!*toot* You cant deny I'm a gal okie?

Be sensible & sensitive and not pleasing me.I have packed all my stuffs this time without her knowledge.Maybe we do need some distance from each other?I dont know.What I reallie know is,right now aint da time for all this.Just want her to stay focus & make it for her paper.God bless her!

p/s 2:Anniversary coming up!What do buy?Where to go?*Shake head*